First off, let me just say that this Tiger Woods story makes me really sad. Sad for his wife, for his kids, for him, and for us. Every time you think it’s winding down, that there can’t possibly be any more women coming forward, here comes another. And now, if 14 (as of this writing) alleged mistresses weren’t enough, comes the arrest of Tiger’s doctor, leaving new questions about the world’s greatest athlete. Who knows what’s next?
So with all of that swirling around, here are my random thoughts. I’d love to hear yours.
I think this has shaken the world because for so long, Tiger has been the one professional athlete, the one mega-star, to have appeared to have held firm against the temptations that so often come to of ultra-successful, the famous and the insanely wealthy. He wasn’t just the guy with unmatched God-given golf prowess and inhuman focus and drive…he was the guy who loved his mom and dad, who said family would always come first, who held his head down and stayed on proper course. In the end, we’re sad, because Tiger ended up being just like the rest of us.
Forgiveness. In our private thoughts aren’t we all wondering it it were us in wife, Elin’s shoes, could we forgive such flagrant abuse? If it were me, I could probably could have forgiven my husband’s indiscretion with one woman, maybe even two, but once he got past that and certainly once he hit double digits I think I’d be all out of forgiveness.
To those pundits who’ve speculated on whether Tiger has a “‘sex addition….” Give me a break! Why must we always do the politically correct thing and not call things what they are! Tiger’s a cheater and it wasn’t some illness that caused it.
So what did cause it? My guess is he finally bought into all they hype. “The Great Tiger Woods,” the greatest golfer the world has even know, perhaps the greatest athlete ever, a gazilionaire where nothing was out of his reach. It was ARROGANCE that caused his fall, pure and simple. If he wanted a romp on the road, heck, if he wanted a bunch of romps on the road, he was Tiger Woods, he could have whatever he wanted.
But was he that arrogant to assume he’d never get caught? Did it not occur to him that one of these women might blab, or some hotel maid might see them? Or that any of those people might like to get a hefty payoff or their 15 minutes by going to the media? He’s lived in celebrity long enough to know that cameras and inquiring minds are everywhere. Which makes you wonder if he even cared if he got caught.
What about his endorsements? Should his golfing skills and title wins be enough to sell products? Or should a pitchman (woman) be someone with consumers can also look up to as human beings? I hope we haven’t gotten to the point in our culture where being a great athlete is enough to sell products. I hope advertisers see the bigger picture. The guy on the Wheaties box should be someone we’d like our children to grow up to be.
I’m curious how the guy managed to play such great golf all these years with all that fooling around on the road. Surely the conniving and plotting and sneaking around and lying to his wife was exhausting. It’ll be interesting to see what exactly (if anything) that doctor of his was prescribing.
Of course, all of those are incidental issues, aren’t they? Tiger’s career, his endorsements, his blood count. What really is at the heart of this is the same thing that we normal women (and men) encounter every day: a spouse you love who isn’t faithful. And in Elin’s case, isn’t faithful a lot…and for the whole world to see.
The biggest parlor game going is the will she stay with him or won’t she? Everybody has a guess. Usually when you hear the game being played it centers around money. That’s sad. Look, she’s never going to have to worry about paying rent for the rest of her life. It’s not about whether she gets a million or whether she gets 300 million…it’s about whether she can forgive her husband, live with what he’s done, and build a new life together. She might be able to forgive him if he’s truly contrite. But if it were me, every time he walked out the door with his golf bag I’d be wondering where he was going.
And, I’ve got to say something about these “other women.” Why is it that women hurt each other? Why is there no female solidarity? Not one of Tiger’s alleged mistresses had sex with him oblivious to the fact that he was married. He’s the most famous athlete on the planet! Of course they knew he had a wife and children back home. Yes, Tiger is the one who betrayed Elin—he’s the one who made vows to her—but these other women betrayed her too. This may sound corny, something you’d say to your 8 year old, but it really is this simple: Would they want another woman sleeping with their husband one day?
What happens next will be more interesting to me than what’s come out so far. Will their marriage survive? Will Tiger’s career survive? How will corporate America respond? Will the public ever embrace their beloved Tiger again? Whatever happens will be a telling commentary on life in America today. It’ll say a lot about the Woods family, yes, but it’ll also say a lot about us.
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December 16, 2009 at 5:19 am
Sandra
I was totally surprised. I mean I thought he was upstanding. My cousin was at Stanford when he was. She always said he was an outstanding guy, well liked. Yep…I was totally surprised.
Kind of like the sailors with a girl at every port- but this time it is at every golf course.
December 16, 2009 at 5:22 am
CB Hackworth
Well, about the best that can be said is that at least he didn’t run for public office as a “family values” candidate.
Like those guys, however, it is Tiger’s “wholesome” image that is his undoing. Compare his situation to, say, that of David Letterman, who no one ever thought of as a saint in the first place.
Did the public idealize Tiger on its own, or did he actively cultivate an picture of himself that he knew was disingenuous?
I think your column is very well written… and just in case you and I ever happen to get married, it’s nice to know in advance that I can get away with at least two affairs and maybe up to nine. Of course, not being Tiger Woods, I’m not at all sure I can line up any at all… which is probably the only thing that keeps most husbands faithful anyway.
Which brings me to the point I wanted to make, and yes it is a very cynical one:
The only people who are really and truly shocked by the Tiger Woods scandal are women.
Lesson:
Don’t marry a pro athlete or a rock star and expect to have a monogamous relationship. It’s not going to happen.
December 16, 2009 at 5:46 am
Susan Asher
Hi Kimberley,
I think it’s interesting that you say,”In the end, we’re sad, because Tiger ended up being just like the rest of us.”
I don’t think we are sad. I think we are gloating at his misfortune as his story gets daily media coverage.
Tiger is nothing like me or anyone I know. I know people who have cheated on their mates. I know people who are millionaires. But I know no one who has cheated that many times nor no one who is a billionaire. I lived in New York and have been around popular celebrities. Yet none of them reminds me of Tiger. I feel sorry for Tiger’s wife and children because I think it is THEY, not he, who are like the rest of us. They are the ones who I think are sad. Elin and Tiger’s kids, like the rest of us, have all been left at the altar in some way. They are the ones who will forever know that the man they loved and trusted is not a trustworthy man, husband or father.
December 16, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Peter Bannon
Kimberely,
I agree with CB. I do not find it shocking. I do feel for his family, to have their life churned up in the celebrity craze we are going through. I feel sorry for all these “me too” women who have come forward. Tempted by a movement of “fame” unaware of the lifetime of shame to follow.
December 19, 2009 at 3:43 am
AJ
Excellent article, Kimberley!
December 23, 2009 at 2:12 am
Mike
Here’s what I wonder – why in the heck did he get married?
Clearly he lots of wild oats to sew and I’m sure he knew it. I find it hard to believe he just woke up one morning and decided he would become a serial adulterer. It’s one thing when someone works closely with someone or somehow meets an illicit love interest and lets it get out of hand. I’m not excusing that behavior, but it happens. But this is something quite different. He could not have really cared that much about his wife or his marriage to have behaved this way.
It makes me wonder if the whole family thing was just a part of the Tiger image that he wanted to cultivate. If so, it was foolish thing to do. His image would have been just fine if he’d stayed single until he was actually ready to settle down.
When I was a boy, Joe Namath was one of the premier athletes of the day and he was the known as a big lady’s man (which I’ve also heard him say was overblown – but who knows). Yes there were some people who disparaged him but for the most part people didn’t care. He was young, famous, wealthy, good looking and could naturally attract a lot of women – and most importantly he was single. Even my mom, who was certainly not one to spare moralizations, didn’t have a problem with Broadway Joe. And yes, Namath did end up divorcing his wife and then made a fool of himself on TV few years ago, but I’m not aware that fooling around was the issue – alcohol was. In any case, in the 70s he was top dog, even though he was a hound dog (pardon the expression).
Tiger would have done well to have followed Namath’s lead and stayed single for a while longer.
He has certainly made a mess of things now. But you know what? He’ll be OK when it’s all said and done. Even if he never got another endorsement in his life he’s set – not to mention he’ll still play golf eventually. But he will get endorsements – even Michael Vick has gotten endorsements since his fall. Tiger’s image is tarnished but he didn’t kill anybody (or even animals) and sponsors will come. Much of this will blow over in time (assuming the continuing parade of new paramours ever ends).
But it may be without his wife and with a somewhat punctured ego.
January 9, 2010 at 1:52 pm
sue
Tiger has been able to do what he did because he was a superstar. All of the razzle dazzle that goes with fame and fortune is very seductive. His act has been that of a juggler…keep all of his lives and lies in the air until one dropped…then another and another. I believe that people who persue countless sexual partners have the same problems as other addicts…you have to go further than before to maintain that high. Eventually, it all falls apart. A marriage to a star is a crap shoot to start as the eyes of the world watch you. Add enough money so that you can buy anything you want. The things that money cannot buy become a pitfall. I feel sorry for Tiger’s and Elin’s children. There are very few substitutes for a mom and dad who love each other enough to make a marriage work.
January 18, 2010 at 12:26 am
Mike
Looks like Kimberley nailed it. I just saw that Woods has checked into a “sex rehab” clinic.
Poor attempt to save face. Like everyone doesn’t know it!!!